I already had a mother 2012

It took me losing my own Mother before I ever even had "Mother" feelings for my Mother-in-law.  I remember when I first got married, I didn't know what I should call her...Mom, Nancy, Nan, Mrs. C.... I ended up calling her by her first name...Nancy.  Once we had children I called her grandma.  It just seemed like if I called her Mom, somehow I would be replacing my own mother.  I see how stupid that is, NOW, but I didn't see it way back then.
Being the baby of four children, I was six years younger than my closest sibling.  By the time I was eleven, they were all grown and out the door. I was like an only child, with brothers and sisters.  When you are young and your oldest sister is ten years older than you, you find that you are almost of two different generations.  Ironically her only son is ten years younger than I am.  She always felt the need to "mother" me, but...I already had a mother.  Why couldn't she be my friend like my sister who is eight years older?  Why did she always have to offer advice, tell me to do things her way....OMG, I already had a "mother" for that!
Over the years my oldest sister and I grew apart, grew together and grew apart again.  I just couldn't connect with her on a level that was equal.  I don't think she has ever seen me as a grown woman, I was always the little sister and she always gave me advice.  I don't take advice well.  I rather enjoy doing things my own way...just ask my husband.  I am also not one for confrontation, but if you have a problem then by all means, lets bring it up and deal with it.

Mother's Day 2010

Today is Mother's day.  I thought I had things under control, until I posted a photo of you on my Facebook account and a little poem for God to pick some flowers just for you.  The tears flowed like they did when you first died, but that was eleven months ago and I thought I had it under control.  I did not.
I wished you a Happy Mother's day, whispered it to you in prayer actually because you are not here for me to wish over the phone or in person.