Timing is everything

During the last five months of my Father's life, he faced being alone for the first time ever in his adult life.  His wife of 57 years, my Mother,  passed away unexpectedly.  She was supposed outlive him, that's what we all thought.  She was nine years his junior after all, and he had many more health issues.  But his zeal for life and everything new to taste and experience is what kept him going for those eighty six years.  I have never met anyone and probably never will meet anyone again who enjoyed life as much as my Father.  He enjoyed the fact that he was alive.  Perhaps he was afraid of death, like so many of us are.  Perhaps not actually the thought of dying, but the thought of no longer living.

During those final months, my father experienced so many different emotions, extreme sadness, loss and loneliness. He would have good days and he would have bad days.  The good days would allow his excitement to shine through, eating fajitas for the first time (although he called them " fajoolie"s ).  Meeting new friends at the nursing care facility and sharing stories about his life and children.  But on the days when he didn't feel good, a dark cloud would rest upon his head and he would shed tears for the loss of his soul mate, his wife, our mother.

It was during these dark moments when he would pick up the phone and call one of his four children, just to say hello, to tell us how much he missed our mom, to hear our voice...to be less alone.  He would always say "I just called to tell you that I Love You, very much".

It was after these calls that a familiar song by Stevie Wonder would flow through my head, "I just called to say I love you".  I would hum it during the day, not even realizing why it had popped into my head.

As the months after our Mother's death approached Christmas, it also approached my parent's 58th Wedding anniversary.  A day they had never spent apart, until it looked , like this year.  But as that day grew ever closer his health deteriorated and we were summoned by Hospice to gather and say our good byes to the Pillar of our family, Our Father.

As the alertness of the first few days, gave way to him drifting farther and farther from this world and into the next, I had to say my goodbyes because we knew the inevitable was coming, but we didn't know when.  I had made the journey with my youngest son, and we spent nearly a week at his side, and it was a time now where although he was still with us, he wasn't able to communicate with us , it was time that we go home.

I leaned in to hug my Father one last time...knowing that THIS WAS the absolute LAST time I would see my Father in this earthly body, the last time I could hug him, the last time.....
Overcome by emotion I just whispered that I loved him so very much and that he was a great Father, thanked him and told him he would be OK.  His mouth moved , his eyes became rapid, he was trying to say something, but he couldn't.  I told him it was OK, I KNEW he loved me, he told me every time we spoke.

After saying farewell to my sister and her son who could spend another day vigil at his bedside, I made my way to the car and had a complete breakdown.  Crying with Heaving thrusts that made my fifteen year old son very uncomfortable.  He looked at me and then looked away not knowing how to handle what was going on. We sat warming the car,  me hysterically in tears , HIM fidgeting....he turned on the radio.

At that moment a song played.......the song was Stevie Wonder and the words at that exact time "I just called to say I love you".

My son and I made eye contact.....he said "It's a sign".   And it was!  And suddenly I was a peace.  I knew that my Father was making his way to the other side.  I knew that he couldn't tell me what he wanted to say, but the message was sent just the same.
He passed away the next afternoon, my brother at his side, minutes after my brother gave his permission to go and be with our mother.  Just days before their anniversary.  They would indeed spend this one together like the past fifty seven.  

Timing is indeed EVERYTHING!